2.28.2005

OT: Random Thoughts

First and foremost, the Acadamy Awards (commonly refered to as cleavage-fest in my household) are fired. "Million Dollar Baby"? Give me a break. One of my largest pet peeves (and beleive me, there are a ton of them) are sports based movies that aren't true to their sport.

Say, having left handed Joe Jackson bat right handed as an example. In MDB, Swank is boxing, and gets hit after the bell (apparently, I just read the spoilers as I never get out of the house these days). Now, in the movie, she apparently loses the match. There's no way she loses the match in real life, and frankly the movie should have been disqualified just based on that. And when did Clint Eastwood become a wraith?

As my wife said during "Counting Crows" performance "Who let Sideshow Bob on stage?"

Was there anything more awkward than the Adam Sandler thing with Chris Rock as Catherine Zeta-Jones?

Chris Rock may have been outlandish by Acadamy Awards standards, but having him host the Acadamy Awards is like having Axl Rose perform at the Tony's, it just doesn't fit.

On to other irrelevant topics. Seeing as I have what is clearly a low maintenance hair cut, I generally have my gorgeous talented wife cut my hair. But she is close to being fired (which would be cause for celebration in her world). I'm not sure how she does it, but every time she cuts my hair, it gets grayer and grayer. I'm not happy with that. I realize that the laws of biology say it can't be her fault. But with the laws of probability being broken by luckpp, my faith in the immutable laws of the world has fallen.

Finally, D-Day is here. My poker chips arrive today. Since I have Regulator's chips held hostage, it looks like we may be using them next month, when the MPT goes on remote, to the Reg's place.

2.27.2005

Poker Gods

Long live to Poker Gods? They can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned. Fortunately the month of February is almost over concluding what will be (to date) the worst month of Poker of my life. Live.. on-line it didn't matter. The Poker Gods kicked me in the balls and whilst I was bent over from the pain, twirled me around and F#*#ed me right in the ass (no lubricant required, no lubricant needed). It didn't matter how well (or poorly) I played, sometimes they would tease me and give me a glimmer of hope, other times they pummeled me like a red headed step child.

Let me bore you with some details, starting with the two biggest f'ings of the month, each cost me over $50 and each time the Poker Gods left me hanging in the breeze wondering, "what the hell just happened." I can still hear them laughing. Playing $2/$4 limit Hold'em on Party Poker (I did receive a crappy hat for my troubles, maybe I will sport it at the next game - if I don't dump gasoline on it and burn it first or wipe my ass with it) I lost with Four of a Kind not once but twice!!!!! Both times getting the quads on the flop and getting the old sledgehammer firmly imbedded in the old pooper when my opponent hit higher quads on the river. Shit, I thought I had hit the mother load, betting re-raising, capping on flop, turn and river. But alas, I had to walk away from the table sore and a little poorer. I will point out that in my brief poker playing career, I have yet to meet anybody who has lost even once with Quads (I guess I should have known and folded on the flop).

But those Poker Gods have a sick and twisted sense of humor.

In another two excrutiating hands the Poker Gods thought it humorous to take my set and flush it down the drain by giving my opponent the old Runner Runner for Quads to again beat me into submission. Now you may say, Muskyboy if your opponent has a decent PP you might not be able to get them to fold in limit hold'em. I would have to respond with "how right you are", but this wasn't the case. In both instances my "highly educated" opponent stayed in the hand to my raises flopping bottom pair (yes you are correct they only had one of the impending quad cards in their hand pre-flop) and hitting the runners. Sure shit like that is going to happen playing poker. The odds are only 46 to 1 against hitting your one outer on the river. Khyle can calculate the odds of hitting both cards on the turn and river. But I defy you to find anyone that has had it happen twice in the month.

You would think after kicking my ass like that twice they would take pity on my poor soul and allow me to regain my dignity with Pocket Aces, but nooooooooo. They rubbed the stay hard cream on their collective willy and continued pumping. Now I will admit that I blundered in one of these AA settings, by not raising pre-flop, but............... oh screw it, I now know that the top hand to play against Pocket Rockets, the ole American Airlines, is the monster starting hand of 10 3 suited. I mean, sure this is a monster starting hand and I should have known better to try and play AA against it, but you figure my winning percentage with AA and against 10 3 sooooootttttttteeeeeddd should be better that 0%. But the flushes came, oh my god did the flushes come during the month of February. Not for me, no sirree, I couldn't draw out a flush to save my life. There was one cure for those players, during the month, who were behind in their statistically expected flushes...... it was me. I lost to a flush on the river so many times..................... I'm surprised that nobody got hit (Thank God the dog knows to stay away from me when I'm playing cards). Statstically, when sitting with a four flush with one card to come the odds are 4 to 1 against hitting the fifth flush card. Well I tell you these calculated odds are wrong. The odds of someone hitting a flush against me are probably in the 1 to 1 or 1 to 2 range with the odds of me hitting the flush probably less than 20 to 1. It probably averages out to 4 to 1, but that average has my money going t0 somebody else.

I could go on for days about the 5 straight AQ openers that flopped an A but ran into AK (yes five in a row) or the 12 straights that I lost in a row (see the flush debacle above), or the fact that I am winning only 47% of the hands that I hit a full house. But really that would be whining.

They say that over the long run that the cards will break even, just ask Khyle and he will tell you about that theory.

When the Poker Gods brought out the Hammer, they apparently only brought one horseshoe which went right up Lucky PP's ass, and they must had decided to perfect their trade by just jamming that Hammer up mine. Well, I suppose I could sacrifice a virgin to the gods to appease them for my sins against poker (whatever they may be) but that search could take years and there is no guarantee that I will find one. Well Joboo (how ever you spell it) if you no help me now I say Fuck You, I'll do it myself!!!!!!!

2/26 Recap

We threw together a last minute game on Saturday. We had 2 7 man tourneys.

Lucky, fortunate, fluky. After that, my thesaurus fails. That's really the best way to describe another night of poker for LuckyPP at the MPT. After getting 5 hands in a row with PP last time, over 1 mill - 1, he consistently got pocket pairs, and made the field pay. Coupled with his aggressive play, this was no contest.

However history will remember 2/26 as the night Magic Man took 4 tournaments in a row. He butchered Musky-fishy-boy as he took 3 single-hand tournaments in a row, and sent him home with empty pockets. Then, he challenged (no longer quite so) Squeaky to a heads up tournament (after Musky Boy left in tears), and dominated the game.

Highlights of the first two games. Jamie cheating Musky Boy of his proper finishing position when he went all in against the big hand with 2nd best hand.

Musky Boy was punished by the poker Gods when he slowplayed AA and got drawn out on the river by a flush draw.

Jamie attempted to push around DM and donated most of his chips to DMs 3 of a kind. But he hung around and ended up 2nd.

The highlight of the night was Squeaky getting LuckyPP to lay down QQ when A-K hit the board. I'm sure we'll hear about that hand for a while.

Finally, we have a man without a nickname, and we are taking suggestions. Jamie hasn't really done anything that would give him a clear cut nickname. The best this writer can come up with, and believe me, it's weak is B-I-L for Brother-in-law. So we're taking suggestions.

2.22.2005

100% off topic

So my kid's 2nd Birthday party was this weekend. And I have to say, that a couple of the things he got were disconcerting.

First, my in laws got him one of those drivable cars that are so popular in our neighborhood. They couldn't just get him a Jeep, they got him a HUMMER. The thing barely fit through the door, and I'm not even sure that we can fit it through the mud room into the basement. Now don't get me wrong, the kid LOVES the thing. But really, why does it have to so damn big?

Also, he got a seeminhly innocuous book "Thomas the Train: Deisel 10 Means Trouble." Now he's into the Thomas thing mainly through a couple books he already has, so the book looked to be cool. But then upon reading it, I find a megalomaniacal Diesel Engine hell bent on genocide against the Steam Engines, fighting against the Steam Engines' protector who has magical powers that are fueled by 'magic dust.' Maybe it's just me, but isn't genocide and cocaine addiction a little much for a 2 year old's book?

For the Record

There's nothing sadder than someone who has sucked recently resting on their past laurels. Yes, Queen Musky, this means you. For someone who plays more poker in a month than the rest of the tour combined (Regulator excepted becuase he has yet to win), you should expect victory.

Right now, you should be aspiring to the level of a Dan M - who, based on his calling nature, will furthermore be known as "Curious Kitty." Until you can consistently out-place Kitty, you should quit quoting Queen Lyrics, and stick to Beck's "I'm a Loser Baby."

The only thing sadder than you living off your 2004 victory is that you still mention your HS Soccer exploits.

2.14.2005

2/12 Event

Overall, a boring event, seeing as I couldn't make it due to being Ill. So in short, a couple people won, Squeaky basically sucked all night. Musky Boy reverted to his mantra "if it wasn't for luck."

The blonde kid got a nickname. After hitting AA twice in 5 hands in January, he hit a run of 5 pp in a row on Saturday to earn his "LuckyPP" nickname from Reg. Lucky for Blondie that he didn't have all small pair, or he would have been "TeenyPP."

All that doesn't matter. Due to consistent complaints about Regulator's chip set, Magic Man is getting a new set of 1,000 chips. For Rizzo's benefit, they will have deonomination on one side and "MPT" on the other. OK, the MPT thing is ghey, but you saved $75 for spending the extra $40 on the MPT, so it SAVED money.

It was only after much prodding ot the CEO of the family, and much complaining from the MPT regulars that Magic took this action. "The Chips are so cheesy, they had to have been made in Wisconsin" noted one MPT regular.

Hopefully, the Chips will arrive in time for the March extravaganza.

2.07.2005

2/12 Event Promoted to better facilities

The CEO of the Keys Family announced today that the 2/12 Event at the Keys Estate has been promoted to the upstairs rooms. Previously, the CEO was concerned about raucus behavior from the participants, but when reminded that Mr. Iven had moved, she agreed that the volume would undoubtedly be acceptable.

In other news, due to our increasing participation, we are considering a change in format. If we get 12 or more, instead of 2 shorter games with everyone, we are going to either:

1 Huge (longer initial blinds) game

OR

2 separate smaller tourneys with 6 or more each. We can then redraw and do 2 more tourneys.

MORE LATER

2.02.2005

Poker Nicknames

We like to give out Jolly Pirate Nicknames to everyone, becuase we're goofy that way.

We're not alone. Beware that this is just a silly ad for a poker site, but it's kinda fun anyway. Musky get "Dicktater"

www.pokernickname.com

2.01.2005

Keys Estate Announced as location for 2/12

The CEO of they Keys household has approved hosting the as of yet unnamed 2/12 event at the expansive Keys Estate. After spending hours in the basement getting it ready for the big event, Magic Man finally got approval for hosting from the boss.

"Man, I didn't know how long it would take to move plastic containers of Xmas stuff from one pile to another pile. We still have a cat related issue or two, and we have to rearrange the furniture down there, but we'll be fine."

In other news, Musky Boy has beein considering making changes to the schedule. People have complained that 3AM isn't an ideal ending point for our tournament. Given our outstanding attendance the past several months, we are considering changing to a 1 tourney format with expanded time for the first 2 blind levels.

Finally, Magic Man, in his ever continuiing quest has announced a new weapon in his arsenal. "I call it: Paying Attention." Details will undoubtedly follow.