8.22.2005

Strange things afoot at the Cardinal Liquor

The following recounts events on the morning of August 21 at approximately 9:00am. These comments reflect my best recollection of the events.........

My father and I went off to the Cardinal Liquor to pick up a sixer of O'douls for my brothers "Surprise" 40th birthday party. While both of us agree that if you have to resort to drinking O'Douls what's the point, there were others attending the festivities that enojoy their non alcoholic brew. Anyways, as we are walking to the store a gentleman comes flying out of the liquor store almost running us over to his car. As my father and I regained our balance from what we assumed to be an inadvertant trampling, I looked back towards the parking lot and noticed the gentleman had opened the driver side door and was slumped across the front seat of the car.

Strange I thought as I turned to walk into the store..... then it hit me, that car was none other than Paul "Doc" Brown's green Honda. Wondering what was up I turned and slowly approached the vehicle. I could now see through the windshield....Paul was frantically searching for something. I was becoming concerned.

I approached the open driver side door and said, "Paul is everything OK?"

He jumped back out of the car with such force I had to take a couple of steps back or be run over again. He was shaking, not like Khyle or Halfman with pocket aces this was much worse. Something was seriously amiss. "Dude", he said with such panic in his voice and a look of concern in his face, "I'm seven cents short."

Huh, what? I didn't understand. He grabbed me by the shoulders and repeated almost screaming in his panic...."DUDE....I'M 7 CENTS SHORT...gotta find it, what am I going to do." I reached into my pocket to grab a dollar not knowing what he required the money for, but his actions told me that this was a serious issue. He dove back into the car scrambling to find pennys or hopefully a nickel. After what seemed like minutes he emerged with a relieved smile, flashed the 7 cents and bolted for the liquor store.

I stood at his car, door still open wondering what the hell just happened. Moments later he left the store with a serene look on his face and a brown paper bag in his hand. All appeared to be inorder. He walked past me, got into the car looked up and showed me the contents of the bag. As I noticed it as a 40 schlitz malt liquor he stated, "I was 7 cents short....they weren't going to give it to me......but I found it, I found it on the floor of my car......." And with a laugh (more of a cackle) he drove off towards Mockingbird Ct.

8.16.2005


Regulator's first experience with beer. Hopefully, his first victory at the MPT won't elicit the same reaction.
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8.15.2005

Sausage Fest 2005

Before we get to the recap, I am considering changing the MPT quote from "where good players get sucked out." Mainly it's becuase there are no good players on the MPT. I saw this quote today and I think it's appropriate to us:

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
Laurence J. Peter

The MPT had a wild and wooly event last Saturday night. There was a spread, against my personal wishes. But when the queen of the house says something, I listen. So you can all thank her for the generous amount of Combos & cookies you were treated to. There were tic-tacs galore. And in the best possible seating arrangement, Reg and Magic (the two smokers) were at the head of the table, up wind of all non-smokers.

Sausage King reigned supreme. Winning both events. By the time he got his opponents heads up, he had such a drastic lead, he wouldn’t even consider taking less money so he could make it home 10 minutes earlier. OK, Sausage, that was the last dig I’ll make about your taking a deal last time out.

Personally, the most amusing thing was the MPT initiation of Flipper. Up until now, he hadn’t had an MPT style beating. As blinds were going up, he looked down at AK. He pushed. SK was getting basically even money on his call, because the bet was 12x the BB. But SK looked down and saw something even better than the MPT legendary Iven (47o). He saw 5-7 (they were soooted). He called for almost all of his chips, and rivered a pair to take out Flipper. This set Flipper steaming. It only got worse in the side Omaha game. Squeaky stayed in against Flipper AAxx to huge bets only to river a straight for all of Flipper’s chips.

Undercover Brother (worst nickname ever) had an eventful night. He took out the host, yours truly, his brother in law, twice – both times being behind when the money was in. Had the beats been worse, he would have risked banishment from the smokatorium. Karma is a bitch however late in the game, he took on the only other big stack, and went all in pre-flop with 44 against KK.

My other favorite highlight came on the second hand of the night. Pre-flop, Squeaky and Numb Nuts got into a raise off. Regulator made a great laydown of AQ soooted. Squeaky got Numb Nuts all in holding AA against NN’s KK. After the hand, Squeaky had the following to say. “AA scares me. I didn’t want callers.” Shockingly, Squeaky was out early in both events….


Half-man half-crappy pulled a Magic Man. Musky folded KK on a Q high flop when Half-man shook so badly the garage floor shook. It’s good to know I’m not alone…Half-man was holding AA.

MuskyBoy finished out of the money both times. Apparently HOH2 didn’t help his game out at all. There is no truth to the rumor that he is currently waiting for an arbitration hearing after testing positive for ‘performance enhancing substances.’ Regulator didn’t completely suck. Squeaky did. Even though it had already been taken, Beeker made a play for the “Beginner’s Luck” nickname.

Finally, I feel the need to follow up on the “I fear Omaha” discussion from last week. We did a side game twice during the night. It was difficult to adjust to for many. That was without the Hi/Lo split. Keep in mind that this was at 2AM, but on the last hand played, yours truly took all of Squeaky’s money with a Full House. Except that I didn’t see the FH, and almost gave Squeaky the pot. Ha. Clearly, Reg and Musky were right. This doesn’t change the fact that they are both clearly metathesiophobics.

8.11.2005

August 13th Event

Where: Khyle's Garage O' Magic and Smoke-a-Torium
When: Saturday at 8:00 PM

The best players (and that ain't saying much) from Country Place and a few outlying areas will meet again for an evening of Poker mastery.

So far confirmed participants are as follows:

Ralph "Sausage King" Bachinger, self proclaimed poker master of Gold Finch. Although I think his Gold Finch neighbor, the curious kitty, might have more victories.

Paul "Numb Nuts" Clark, relative newbie who is currently tied with the Regulator in sanctioned event victories. Considered by some (who they are we aren't sure) to be a solid player, and likes his kodiac (Muskyboy likes his kodiac too).

Keith Halfman "Half Amazing" is a mutliple MPT champion. His strategy is generally to be all in with the worst hand and suck out his opponent.

Dave "Musky Boy" Hebeda is another multiple MPT champion but has been unable to score a big win this year. Reigning 2004 MPT champion (and has the $1 bracelet to prove it) likes to lose all his chips when having the best hand on the flop and getting sucked out on the turn or river.

Khyle "Magic Man" Keys averages 1 MPT tournament victory per year and then faulters most of the rest of the year. Generally a good bet to be out early.

Paul "The Regulator" Kravitz is the best regular to never win an MPT event (Paul Clark and Rob havn't been around enought yet to be considered a regular, maybe one more month). Of course every other regular has won at least once. Paul is a threat to lose with the best hand on the flop at any time.

John "Squeaky" Mcpherson best known for a monster bluff against Lucky PP and being fortunate to have two or three players all in in front of him when he holds the nuts. Made the walk of shame last month being out early.

Ken "Beginners Luck" Schmidt came in with a blaze of glory with two quick victories, talked up how easy it was and how easy it is to read the MPT players and has sucked ever since.

Rob "Dead Money" Thomsen currently holds no victories and will shortly be lumped in with the Regulator as a regular with no victories. Likes to call everything and likes to give his chips away.

Dan "Curious Kitty" McCandles a former champion who is willing to call you down with any hand. Doesn't bet doesn't raise, just likes to call and see what you have.

Notable Abscences are:

Paul "Doc" Brown - self proclaimed leading MPT money winner, uses the Halfman approach to accumulating chips. Favorite strategy is to bluff with crap hands get called and hit runner runner on the turn and river to win the hand.

Mike "Lucky PP" Leitza - similar to beginners luck in that he came in with a blaze of glory, yucked it up and has been one of the first players out in the last three games.

Favorite to win? Using the law of Averages the Regulator is the favorite.

My message to whiny Khyle and Regulator

8.10.2005

Regulator & Pics

I remember what it was like when I had my first beer. It was a feeling of empowerment followed shortly by me faking that I liked the taste. So I understand where Reg is coming from. He can post pics now. He's had his first beer.

Maybe the shine will wear off shortly, maybe not. I know where he's coming from. As it turns out, the football team picked on him in HS, and his being head of the math club didn't help.




8.09.2005

Sad News for Saturday

I was chatting with MuskyBoy this am, and in a short exchange he informed me that he can't make it. After I told him that my garage mini-fridge was only for 2005 MPT Regulation Tournament winners, meaning he and Regulator would be forced to use a cooler, he gave the following reply (IM handle changed):

ican'tcatchamuskyboy: btw, I don't have a cooler big enough for all the stuff I was going to bring, so I guess I'm out.

He started to fall from his high moral ground, saying "maybe I will still come, but not bring anything." But I told him he should stick to his guns. I think in the end he will back down and still bring his large spread "tic tacs and some popcorn, I think."

Let's all pull together and show Musky Boy how much we support him. Everyone comment at how much we would all miss him!

Or not...either way.

In other news, Dear Wife has told me that I at least have to match Doc's spread. So against my better judgement, I will head to the grocery store. I fall under the Mrs. Musky Boy school of thought. So here is a look at my preliminary list:

  • Peapods
  • Pluots
  • Pizza
  • Polenta
  • Pickles
  • Petroleum Jelly (Reg's personal use)
  • Pepperoni
  • Pork Ribs
  • Paas Easter Egg dye kits
  • Pedisure
  • Potatos
  • Plums
  • Pineapple
  • Pimento Spread on Pumpernickle
Requests will be taken....

8.03.2005


Khyle is the ultimate ruler of the MPT, all others are infidels! INFIDELS!
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Interesting Quote from long time MPTer

While discussing MPT strategy with another long time MPTer, this anonymous player stated the following (I found it to be very intersting and after further thought right on the mark).


"Khyle needs to wear a beret and be done with it"

hmmmm, thoughts? comments?

8.02.2005

Just trying to help

Hopefully, the we can play a cheap/quick Omaha side game on the 13th, broaden some horizons. I found this T-Shirt that I think is most appropriate for Musky Boy and Regulator.




In all actuality, my attempt at adding Omaha to the MPT repertoire was to help Regulator turn his poker karma around. He has clearly angered the Poker Gods. When your name becomes synonymous with both getting sucked out, and being all in with the worst of it, you're not running right.

I wanted to test to see just how mad the Poker Gods are. So I took this hand history from one of my recent tourneys on line and replaced my name with Regulator. In a turn of events that would make Rod Serling proud, the hand result changed. You be the judge.

My Hand:
> *********** # 66 **************
> PokerStars Game #2227242669: Tournament #10714497, Hold'em No Limit -
> Level VIII (200/400) - 2005/07/31 - 00:21:50 (ET)
> Table '10714497 4' Seat #2 is the button
> Seat 1: nofreerides (7175 in chips)
> Seat 2: waitinfonhl (6090 in chips)
> Seat 3: justwin (2955 in chips)
> Seat 4: pinta (6325 in chips)
> Seat 5: thunder03434 (16415 in chips)
> Seat 6: khylek (4190 in chips)
> Seat 7: tutakai (11955 in chips) is sitting out
> Seat 8: carlosliquor (8455 in chips)
> Seat 9: dully38 (3940 in chips)
> nofreerides: posts the ante 25
> waitinfonhl: posts the ante 25
> justwin: posts the ante 25
> pinta: posts the ante 25
> thunder03434: posts the ante 25
> khylek: posts the ante 25
> tutakai: posts the ante 25
> carlosliquor: posts the ante 25
> dully38: posts the ante 25
> justwin: posts small blind 200
> pinta: posts big blind 400
> *** HOLE CARDS ***
> Dealt to khylek [7c 7h]
> thunder03434: folds
> tutakai has returned
> khylek: calls 400
> tutakai: folds
> carlosliquor: raises 1200 to 1600
> dully38: folds
> nofreerides: folds
> waitinfonhl: folds
> justwin: folds
> pinta: folds
> khylek: raises 2565 to 4165 and is all-in
> carlosliquor: calls 2565
> *** FLOP *** [7s As Ad]
> *** TURN *** [7s As Ad] [3s]
> carlosliquor said, "nh"
> *** RIVER *** [7s As Ad 3s] [5h]
> *** SHOW DOWN ***
> khylek: shows [7c 7h] (a full house, Sevens full of Aces)
> carlosliquor: shows [Qs Jh] (a pair of Aces)
> khylek collected 9155 from pot
> khylek said, "ty"
> *** SUMMARY ***
> Total pot 9155 | Rake 0
> Board [7s As Ad 3s 5h]
> Seat 1: nofreerides folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 2: waitinfonhl (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 3: justwin (small blind) folded before Flop
> Seat 4: pinta (big blind) folded before Flop
> Seat 5: thunder03434 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 6: khylek showed [7c 7h] and won (9155) with a full house, Sevens
> full of Aces
> Seat 7: tutakai folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 8: carlosliquor showed [Qs Jh] and lost with a pair of Aces
> Seat 9: dully38 folded before Flop (didn't bet)


Regulators Hand:
> PokerStars Game #2227242669: Tournament #10714497, Hold'em No Limit -
> Level VIII (200/400) - 2005/07/31 - 00:21:50 (ET)
> Table '10714497 4' Seat #2 is the button
> Seat 1: nofreerides (7175 in chips)
> Seat 2: waitinfonhl (6090 in chips)
> Seat 3: justwin (2955 in chips)
> Seat 4: pinta (6325 in chips)
> Seat 5: thunder03434 (16415 in chips)
> Seat 6: Regulator (4190 in chips)
> Seat 7: tutakai (11955 in chips) is sitting out
> Seat 8: carlosliquor (8455 in chips)
> Seat 9: dully38 (3940 in chips)
> nofreerides: posts the ante 25
> waitinfonhl: posts the ante 25
> justwin: posts the ante 25
> pinta: posts the ante 25
> thunder03434: posts the ante 25
> Regulator: posts the ante 25
> tutakai: posts the ante 25
> carlosliquor: posts the ante 25
> dully38: posts the ante 25
> justwin: posts small blind 200
> pinta: posts big blind 400
> *** HOLE CARDS ***
> Dealt to Regulator [7c 7h]
> thunder03434: folds
> tutakai has returned
> Regulator: calls 400
> tutakai: folds
> carlosliquor: raises 1200 to 1600
> dully38: folds
> nofreerides: folds
> waitinfonhl: folds
> justwin: folds
> pinta: folds
> Regulator: raises 2565 to 4165 and is all-in
> carlosliquor: calls 2565
> *** FLOP *** [7s As Ad]
> *** TURN *** [7s As Ad] [3s]
> *** RIVER *** [7s As Ad 3s] [Ah]
> *** SHOW DOWN ***
> Regulator: shows [7c 7h] (a full house, Sevens full of Aces)
> carlosliquor: shows [Ac Kh] (four of a kind)
> Regulator collected 9155 from pot
> Regulator said, "jopke"
> Regulator said, "jopke"
> *** SUMMARY ***
> Total pot 9155 | Rake 0
> Board [7s As Ad 3s 5h]
> Seat 1: nofreerides folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 2: waitinfonhl (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 3: justwin (small blind) folded before Flop
> Seat 4: pinta (big blind) folded before Flop
> Seat 5: thunder03434 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 6: Regulator showed [7c 7h] and went out like a beyotch.
> Seat 7: tutakai folded before Flop (didn't bet)
> Seat 8: carlosliquor showed [Qs Jh] and won (9155) with four of a kind, Aces
> Seat 9: dully38 folded before Flop (didn't bet)