4.26.2005

Sometimes the truth hurts

I had a little moment that reminded me how little I can get away with in my house the other day, and I thought it applied here. My gorgeous wife and I were discussing our kids and how much stuff they have, but that they're not spoiled. I off-handedly said "I wasn't spoiled as a kid." My wife just looked at me and said "You had a PONY."

There are times when the truth is undeniable. You can't rationalize it, you can't avoid it...you just have to accept it. It seems that maybe certain people on the MPT tour need to accept this too. No one on this tour is really that good. Sometimes people take chances, and people with the best hand get taken out. OK, that happens to everyone. But really, it's not like anyone on this tour is soo good that they should be winning consistently. Well, maybe except for Lucky PP who doesn't count becuase he needs to show he can consistently win without so many good cards.

So in that vein, here's a list of truths for some of our players:

You don't go to Magic Man on advice for leaving his car in park in front of your neighbor's garage.

You don't go to Doc for advice on seal-coating your driveway.

You don't go to Musky Boy on advice for keeping your company thriviing.

You don't go to Reg for advice on how to be chill while people make minor rules violations.

You don't go to Squeaky for advice on quick decision making or on how to get up early and get to work.

So, hey, everyone has faults right? Apparently, Regulators is that the stakes aren't high enough. And given his last place status at Party Poker, and his Fillmaff-ian exit at the last tourney, I have a couple suggestions for how to get his mojo back. Check that, to get it back, he would have had to already had it at one point, so we'll say how to get his mojo.

Recommendation #1: Steel Cage Match with Musky Boy. Reg challenged Musky Boy to a heads up match after it was revealed that statistically he was the worst player in the history of Party Poker. I am willing to host and deal for this event. I suggest that the proceeds be donated to charity, say the fund for "Send Magic Man to Vegas" or something. The loser should be forced to wear something embarrasing at the next monthly game. You guys let me know, and I'll coordinate.

Recommendation #2: It seems as if Reg can't pay close enough attention becuase the stakes aren't high enough. I am willing to solve this for him. I think Reg should post $1,000 to our $20. That way, the stakes are higher, and certainly his winning % will shoot through the roof. I'm all about being a pal.

I hope to have POY standing updated soon, but I am strangely unmotivated....

4.15.2005

Dead Money Challenge Preview

All the peices are in place for an eventful evening tomorrow at the Dead Money Palace.

The Regulator is sure to be the center of attention. He still has not won an official event, and is still seething about being the worst Poker Stars player in the history of the site, as documented right here. For whatever reason, he has not been able to win a MPT event outright. Not even his #2 ranking in POY can help him erase that embarrasment off his record.

It will be interesting to see if he can control his seething rage at Musky Boy and finally take home a victory.

Musky Boy is desperate to prove that his status as the lowest ranked regular MPT player is not indiciative of his ability, and should come out firing. But, he will be a marked man by Regulator, and will have to adjust accordingly.

4/16 also marks the return of the Sausage King. His official explanation was that he had to help out his wife with the kids. But according to the news, the Sausage King has been on Death Row with Scott Peterson. Now, it's true that he has commited crimes against poker (just ask Reg about the Flush draw that took him out), but we didn't think that was cause for putting him on Death Row.

LuckyPP will also be there, as he tries to continue running over the field. Time will only tell if he can erase the memory of the ignominy of being bluffed out by Squeaky with 67d when he held QQ.

Squeaky and Doc will also be there, but don't merit any press due to crappy play over the last 2 months.

Finally, the Magic Man will attempt to continue his rise to the top of the POY standings.

Current Odds:

Regulator: EVEN MONEY
Musky Boy: 1.5-1
Magic Man: 15-1
LuckyPP: OFF
Squeaky: 74.2 - 1
Doc: 73.2 - 1
Dead Money: Infinite - 1
HalfMan-HalfCrappy - 5-1

4.06.2005

Regulator Rage

So Regulator didn't take kindly to Musky Boy's simple math. Matter of fact, he's challenged Musky Boy to a Heads-Up match. No word on whether Musky Boy will accept said challenge. We hear that Don King is backing Regulator, so we don't like Musky's chances.

However, a startling email has just popped up on the Internet, purporting to 'prove' that Regulator is a solid player. However, Magic Man, IT Wizard that he is, checked the code for changes, and revealed the TRUE content. Judge for yourself.

>Date: Tue, 5 Apr 2005 00:35:39 -0400
>From: "PokerStars Support"
>To: ********@aol.com
>Subject: Results for PokerStars Tournament 6733239
>
>PokerStars Tournament #6733239, No Limit Hold'em
>Buy-In: $6.00/$0.50
>21 players
>Total Prize Pool: $126.00
>Tournament started - 2005/04/04 - 23:43:39 (ET)
>
>Dear kravy,
>
>You finished the tournament in 22nd place (out of 21 players).
>A $16.20 penalty has been debited from your Real Money account due to your horrible play.
>
>
>Congratulations!
>Thank you for participating.

4.05.2005

The Regulator a Ranked Player at Party Poker

The exploits of our very own Paul "The Regulator" Kravitz have not gone unnoticed by a new on line poker player ranking source. Pokerprophecy.com has a data base of party poker players, ranking players "In the Money" percentage in Sit'n'go tournaments and compares those players against all other players in the data base.

Currently there are over 295,000 players in the database. In addition to ranking players, Poker Prophecy categorizes players by the ITM percentage as follows:

>40% - Pro

35-40% - Very Good

30-35% - Slightly Above Average

25-30% - Slightly below Average

20-25% - Below Average

10-20% - Way below Average

0-10% - Fish

Out of 295,526 players, The Regulator (known as Kravy at Party Poker) is Ranked a stellar 295,526. Yes that's right, the worst damn player in the Party Poker system.

Following is the Poker Prophecy write up on our very own Regulator.


Player

kravy

Wins (0%)
Losses (100%)
Average Buy-In $10
Players with better winning percentage 295526
Players with worse winning percentage 0

Regulator, from everybody on the Mockingbird Poker Tour, congratulations for a job well done!!! Sort of implies that the Regulator got very lucky in our last MPT event.

In addition, one other player on the MPT is currently ranked in the Poker Prophecy data base. Mehabeeb (known as Musky Boy in MPT circles) has a current Win percentage of 39.29%, falling into the "Very Good" category.

Based on the Kravy ranking, let's go fishing on the 16th.

4.01.2005

Proof Positive

Our former official photog, Regulator sent me these pictures from our last event. Why former? Well, he got the title by being the only one to ever bother. But they're so bad, he had to be let go.

The first picture is of the loser lounge. As you'd expect, Squeaky is there (far left) and so is Curious Kitty (far right). BL isn't pictured simply becuase he was late for the game, and thus couldn't officially be eliminated.



This next picture was taken with 5 left in the tournament. Now, the surprising thing here is that Musky Boy (he's the surly looking one in his Perma-Hat), actually has a bunch of chips in front of him. Normally, he has just a few chips left by now, only to suffer a 'bad' beat.

The other thing, is that you forget just how awesome a display Magic Man put on to come back and win the tourney. Look at that fuzzy picture. He must have like 3 chips left. He's dominated by every other player, and yet they all would succumb to his superior aggresion and skill.

And hey, it looks like Doc had not yet lost his ability to locate the beer.