MPT Championship Preview

he MPT has announced that it will hold an invitation only Champions tournament on 12/17/2004. The event will be held at the luxury estate of Tour Manager "Musky Boy" Hebeda. The rules have been slightly altered, doubling the starting chips, and speeding up the blind raises. According to inside sources, other rule changes have been considered. "I really wanted to add a bounty fee for each entrant. Each player would pay an extra $10, and whomever took them out got the money" said the source.

The evening will consist of two tournaments, the second of which will determine the "Champion" of the MPT for 2004. The winner will not only have bragging rights for a full year, but he will also take home the MPT Champion's Bracelet and Chalice.

Musky Boy personally fronted the money for the trophies. "If we were going to hold a championship, we needed something commensurate with the status of the MPT. To that end, I went to the highly regarded Dollar store in the local strip mall and bought a couple plastic trinkets to award for the winner."

The odds on favorite for the Champion is Musky Boy himself, as the most experienced player on tour. "He's definitely dangerous, if by dangerous you mean having a small stack late in the tournament" said an anonymous tour member. When asked about this common perception Musky Boy responded with a quote from one of his idols - "If it weren't for luck, I'd win every time."

Two other players carry momentum into the tournament. Both Sausage King Ralph Bachinger and John "W" Rizzotto won at the last tournament night. Rizzotto's new "walk over people like the Germans over France" style will surely be put to the test. SK, always a solid contender, has upped his game over the last several tournaments. Up until recently, his best strategy had been to buy a fifth of liquor and hope everyone else got too drunk. This strategy ran into problems when the entire fifth was consumed by one person...who promptly lost his chips to someone else.

The Regulator is also a factor. His adjustment to the MPT style of play has taken awhile, but sooner or later his superior skill and knowledge of the rules will surely lead him to a straight victory.

Squeaky McPherson might also be a factor. When asked about his chances, Squeaky sounded confident, albeit confused. "My strategy has always been to get two people all-in in front of me, while I have the nuts. I haven't been able to implement this strategy in the last several tournaments, but I think I will be able to turn it around on the 17th."

The Doc, Paul Brown is coming off a bit of a layoff, having taken time off for "family issues." Doc's game has suffered recently as his fold-out-of-turn-only-to-raise move has drawn more attention. This 'stealth move' was at the core of his game, and it's loss of effectiveness has hurt Doc.

Magic Man Keys' confidence is high after out-lasting 1,500 people in a tournament recently. "I showed a 50% ROI for my time, and earned $.60/hour, which, when you account for my commute, is actually more than I earn per hour at my straight job." Magic Man has also completed the mastering of his new "Henning" style of play.

"I plan on smiling ridiculously, speaking in a high voice with a lisp, and performing several magic acts - like making Musky Boy disappear" Magic Man said with an evil laugh.